Value Stream Mapping

Value stream mapping was once the secret art of the janitorial staff: one-ness with the Stream carried them effortlessly from building to building in the manner of the flow; a single stroke of a master's mop could wash an entire floor without soaking the executive carpet, such was their mastery of soapy water.

But the Stream resists containment and when Even-Handed Mo gained a sideways promotion into the mail room he took the secrets of VSM with him; with a little adaptation it was discovered that the currents and waves of the Stream are more flexible than anyone imagined, and soon the benefits of VSM had spread throughout the company.

Value stream mapping harnesses Synergy to bring one's thoughts and body - and at more potent concentrations, one's surroundings - in line with the Stream, enhancing efficiency by removing unnecessary obstacles like walls and distance. It also calls to the Flow, allowing fine control of the element of water.

The Synergy that drives VSM is generated by doing a useful job, the more menial the better. Making the coffee. Unjamming the photocopier. Cleaning the floors. Delivering the mail. Fixing the plumbing. The more useful and unpleasant the job, the more Synergy can be generated: pouring sacrificial coffee on the floor then mopping it up creates a warm synergistic glow; unblocking the toilet on sub-basement 7, which is rumoured to stalk the long-forgotten corridors on twisted metal limbs of its own design and devour unskilled janitors, would provide a mighty Synergistic charge for a trained guru.

Productivity and Procrastination are the talents most likely to generate synergy, whether it's because of the quantity of work you do or the time you spend doing it.

Value stream mapping is a powerful art but a peaceful one: it cannot be used to directly harm another living thing. (Resourceful middle managers have discovered that indirect harm remains entirely possible.)

With this spell the guru may briefly travel as water does, stepping through a solid object. The object must be traversed in a single step or the guru will awake somewhere entirely unintended, soaking wet.

The Flow knows its own: with a word and a gesture the guru becomes perfectly adapted to underwater living - their lungs process oxygen from water, they can move freely while submerged, and pressure changes do not concern them so long as they are underwater. This change lasts until they take a breath of air once again.

It rains. A lot. Outside this incantation is enough to spoil picnics and pause a cricket game for half a day with a spectacular rainstorm. Inside the area covered is reduced but the duration increased. A single office could be made uninhabitable for a whole week as clouds boils around the lighting fixtures and filing cabinets are drenched.

By correctly arranging the yellow signs of your art, you may create a temporary barrier to pedestrians which requires extreme effort to bypass. The weak-minded detour to avoid the signs; the strong-minded who push on find the floor increasingly slick beneath their feet until the soapy tiles force them to turn back. Only the athletic, inventive or truly determined can break through. This last for around a fiscal quarter.

A location of your choice (several offices, a small floor, or a smaller building) is briefly co-located with the bottom of the sea. A vortex of water tears through the place leaving it in total chaos: documents, unsecured office furniture and unwary temps are washed away; in their places are left hideous fish, lots of seaweed, and strange artefacts of the ocean depths. People may be worried by sharks and are definitely left soaking wet and slightly shocked.

Just as the octopus may change shape to blend in with the background so to may the master of Value Stream Mapping mimic other people and things. For the duration of this spell the guru may make themselves and/or an object up to the size of a double-decker bus appear as anything they desire. Want a lion to look like a kitten? No problem. Want a nuclear-powered tank to look like a kindly old lady? Got you covered. The disguise is near perfect but should it be uncovered a second advantage of this spell is that the guru may spray ink all over the discoverer and cheese it in the confusion.

As the Stream flows between the hidden places of the universe, so too can you - and now so can all your friends! With an almighty exertion of Synergy you can create a corridor - sixty-seven feet long with a single door at either end, white walls, flourescent strip lighting, and a floor gleaming as if freshly mopped - which can go between any two places you like. The dimensions of the corridor do not change. It does not occupy the same space as other constructions or people. The only restriction is that both ends have to be large enough for the door to 'anchor'.

Feeling a little crowded? Try this tidal wave courtesy of Synergy! Perfect for washing away problems of any scale up to and including small cities. This spell uses any available water and if used indoors may result in severe damage to pipework.

You can impart the world around you with the fluid properties of the Stream: you can rearrange the geography of everything within 5 miles to suit yourself. Want a mountain range? No problem. Arid desert? Easy. Perfectly flat world? Child's play!

Liquography has some restrictions: the magic automatically ensures people are unharmed by the changes around them, and the final geography will always end up being stable and safe. It is not suitable for great detail, either - use it to make sweeping rearrangements, not seal your enemies in coffins of asbestos and stinging nettles.

With a massive expenditure of synergy you take all the water within a mile and fling it skyward - including anything between the water and the sky like water cooler bottles, boats, swimmers, and colossal monsters of the deeps - where it forms a towering thunderhead and drifts away. This stormcloud descends on any territory you like on the same planet and rains the living hell out of it. A few days later it is a storm-wracked, flooded wasteland.