Management and You

Your place in the management hierarchy represents your influence in the company, such as your ability to obtain resources and direct other people to perform tasks for you. As a regular member of our valued staff you will not have any ability to direct other members of staff unless delegated to by upper management. Should you excel at your job, as we are sure you will, you will rise up the management chain, leveraging your skills for success! As you are promoted, your responsibilities towards the company will increase along with your power and influence.

The Benefits of Promotion

  • More responsibility!
  • More people and resources at your disposal!
  • The ability to propose projects!
  • The ability to designate projects as 'High Profile'!
  • Access to 'restricted' information!
  • Company wide communication rights!

The Management Chain

Managing Director of R&D Managing Director of PRMS Managing Director of L&A Managing Director of F&HR Managing Director of Facilities
Ada Ferrari-Lyman M. Profit D. Watson B. Johnson S. Artosis
Executive Directors of R&D Executive Directors of PRMS Executive Directors of L&A Executive Directors of F & HR Executive Directors of Facilities
Drs. Sam Lyman G. Lucas-Shareholder III D. Camber C. Brannigan K. Morgan
A. von Eisenhower P. Lyman T. II - Lyman W. Wilberforce B. Collins
R&D Managers PRMS Managers L&A Managers HR Managers Facilities Managers
C. Lloyd, S. Sevens J. Pollock V. Peel M. Bernard J. Tarik
R&D Staff PRMS Staff L&A Staff HR Staff Facilities Staff
A. Smith*, E. Moore, F. Despair, H. von Steel, P. Whipsnade, W. Eisenhauer C. Caracal, M. Fig B. Smith N. Briggs

Staff marked with a * are on probation and should do their best to perform better!

The Board of Directors

The Board of Directors is composed of all the company's Managing Directors (each of which gets two votes) and all of its Executive Directors (each of which gets one vote). The Board of Directors meets twice a year to review the CEO's performance and appease the dread shareholders.


Pursuant to section 236-b, paragraph 19, subsection 3 of the company bylaws, it is the responsibility of the Board of Directors to elect a member of the board to the position of Chief Executive Officer. This section was added after the disaster of fiscal year 53, when the Board elected a bent paperclip to the office of CEO. To this day, it is the only CEO to oversee three consecutive fiscal quarters of negative growth and was finally removed following a succession of bloody and devastating emergency Board meetings. To be elected, a candidate must now secure an absolute majority of votes.

The CEO is the company's leader, chief communicator, and main decision-maker when it comes to policy goals and strategies.

The Shareholders

Pursuant to the 166th amendment (paragraph 7, subsection 17, footnote 12) of the United Nations 1) constitution; enquires about the names, number and natures of the Shareholders of any incorporated entity may be requested by any member of the public, in writing, in triplicate on the first day of a new fiscal year, in person and accompanied by an administrative fee of $131.58.

Pursuant to the 166th amendment (paragraph 7, subsection 17, footnote 12, accompanying pamphlet V-b) any such request is to be treated as an act of corporate espionage to be penalised by immediate arrest and liquidation of assets which may incur an administrative fee of $131.59.

All board-approved correspondence to the Shareholders is to be addressed strictly to the Shareholder Liaison Office on floor 87 of corporate HQ.


Managers are the backbone of the company, men and women trained for command, the best of the best, and not, as recent illicit documents have claimed, “a bunch of morons who got promoted because they were good bootlickers.” Being made a manager comes with certain privileges: a larger office (or cubicle), Three! (3!) new fonts for use in your company-approved business cards, and a team of relatively unskilled employees to carry out company business comparable in size but not ability to a common working group.

The company expects great things of the people it chooses to assume the Managerial Mantle.


Employees who fail to meet productivity quotas, who harm the company's interests, or who anger their superiors are often put on Probation. They usually need to perform some sort of great service that proves their worth to the company in order to be released from probationary status.

Employees who find themselves on Probation have access to fewer resources, and are looked down upon by the rest of company. Even worse, they attract the attention of HR, who circle them like vultures, always looking for any excuse to initiate termination procedures.

1) A limited-liability subsidiary of Global Dynamics Corp. Global Dynamics Corp: we make the world go round!
management.txt · Last modified: 2012/06/12 10:11 by gm_oliver
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