As part of Company Directive 34-b, Section 3c, under the heading Company Employee Benefit Scheme, you are entitled to one (1) free Positive Qualification (hereafter known as “Perks”) on joining the company, and may have up to four (4) more each of which must be balanced out by one of the Negative Qualifications (hereafter known as “Flaws”). Unless otherwise noted, you may only have one of each Qualification.
You don't have to slum it in a cubicle, you have a much-prized corner office with built-in security and a lock on the door, a place where you can store objects and work with a modicum of privacy. The size of the office is directly dependant on your position up the hierarchy.
Through devious strategising you have set up a colleague to take blame for your failure. Once, and once only, when you would otherwise have been demoted your patsy will take the blame instead. Your efforts have ensured that it will be very hard to link the failure back to yourself, but this will only work once.
The Board likes you! During the game you can ask one of the NPC members of the Board of Directors for a single favour, and if they can do it they will. (Note: This trait can be lost if you don't show proper respect, or if you become a member of the Board.)
You're skilled at directing the ever-constant flow of rumours around the office. You can spread rumours that the entirety of the company will eventually become aware of.
Once per turnsheet you can add a rumour to the rumour list as a minor action.
You have signed up to the corporate gym and spend your evenings blasting your abs and doing power squats. Although physical violence is very much frowned upon, should you ever get in a fist fight your honed physique will give you the upper hand (but you're still unlikely to come away unharmed).
You have learned one of the secrets of success! You can use one of the five habits making you “highly effective” in the workplace. This does mean that you will be less proficient at the Core Competencies hence you may find it harder to gain promotions and generate Synergy.
If you take this Perk you have half the points to spend on Core Competencies. If you take it twice you have no points to spend on Core Competencies, which is a terrible idea.
You have a mysterious object, perhaps looted from the R&D labs of your former employer, or found scribbled in the margins of a self-help book borrowed from the local library. Unlike Tool, you have no idea what it does.
You went to one of the Company's business schools and have the qualification to prove it. This high level training in people management and corporate administration means you will join the company as a Manager.
You have a bit more pull, but are also expected to deliver better results. Ideal for career corporate types.
Not compatible with On Probation.
You have a loyal underling, such as a secretary or sycophantic yes-man who helps you with day-to-day tasks. Although not particularly useful, they can give you a heads up when trouble is coming your way, giving you a chance to burn documentation or flee.
You don't remember anything other than life at the company. You were raised here, as part of an R&D project that doubled as a tax write-off. This can make you different in a variety of ways, such as possessing gills. The side-effects are normal, the Company-approved doctor says so.
Due to a mistake in the access rights management of the company keycard system you have access to a place you normally couldn't access - an executive bathroom, a tube nexus, and so on. Using your keycard to access it won't trigger any security alerts getting in but you still may want to avoid security personnel to limit awkward questions.
Your skill is superior in a very narrow area: you count as being one rank higher in a small subset of one of the core competencies, such as Virology for Science or when poring over Expense Reports for Auditing.
You have a useful object. This could be anything from a spy pen bought at a novelty store to your trusty adjustable spanner. It will be helpful. Unlike It's a… Thing?, you know exactly what it does.
You have wide shoulders giving you the perfect business V shape and making walking through doors head on a challenge. No shoulder pads for you, for your torso radiates power and confidence. Your impressive shoulders give you an advantage when interacting with people you outrank, and in situations that are too close to call, the ones with the perfect triangular shape generally succeed.
You have a small working group of skilled employees who are better than the average employee at a certain task. These might include crack teams of patent lawyers or a specialist biotechnology research group. Your control over them lies outside the management hierarchy due to an admin error so no matter your promotions or demotions they'll remain loyal to you.
Pick a Core Competency for your Working Group to specialise in when choosing this. You may buy this perk multiple times for an even more diverse, effective or larger working group.
You are part of the reason for the company's absurdly high insurance rates. It seems that not a week goes by that the Days-Since-Last-Accident counter has to be reset because of you. You seem to always manage to injure yourself with even the simplest of tasks. Good thing you're covered by the company health initiative, right?
Sometimes, you find it impossible to keep track of company approved corporate jargon. When the bosses come to you with instructions, or when reading company-approved schematics, you find it very hard to know what it is you need to do.
You read the Five Habits of Highly Effective People but must have skipped a couple of pages. You are still able to harness the power of synergy but occasionally your business spells will go awry, they'll do what you want but there will be horrible consequences for all involved.
Requires Highly Effective Person
You don't know what it is, but working here is just so much more boring than you thought possible. That, or you just have a very short attention span. You often find yourself daydreaming or spacing-out during your workday, so much so that you occasionally come to in odd situations with no knowledge of how you got there or what happened to you.
You need to be in charge. If anyone else on your projects also does, you will spend the entire time bickering and never actually achieve anything. This tends to have a negative impact on productivity.
Management hates you. Everything you do is considered in the worst possible light. You will take the blame for disasters, and the vast majority of your actions seem to displease someone.
You owe someone big time. Maybe they protected you from bullies in school, or they helped you land your first job. They are likely to call in this favour in order to get you to do something for them and are likely to make your life very difficult if you fail to live up to your obligations.
Were you cursed as a youth? Do you have a secret self-destructive urge? In any case, once during the game one of your actions will fail in the most spectacular, horrific way.
One of your peers hates you, and will do everything in their power to bring you down, short of anything that could reflect badly on them.
Due to an administrative error you are not enrolled on the company's healthcare plan. Should you receive any physical or mental trauma in the course of your employment it is likely to cause you considerably more inconvenience than normal.
Congratulations, you've been put On Probation. You have less pull and are expected to deliver better results. It will take more effort to climb the corporate ladder.
Not compatible with Manager Material.
Some highly effective people suffer a minor allergic reaction to concentrated Synergy. As they accumulate more of it they begin to glow and then crackle with power, their hair turning blonde and standing on end. This is inconvenient as you cannot play your cards close to your chest and your business foes will see you coming a mile away.
Requires Highly Effective Person
You don't remember anything other than life at the company. You were raised here, as part of an R&D project that doubled as a tax write-off. This can make you different in a variety of ways, such as highly allergic to paper. The side-effects are normal, the Company-approved doctor says so.
You are a member of the shadowy anti-globalist, anti-capitalist, anti-corporation resistance; the small group of marxists, free-love advocates, deists and democrats that neither exist nor have been opposing the mega-corporations for the last twenty years. You will periodically be given orders by resistance HQ which you will need to obey and should you be discovered the disciplinary proceedings will no doubt be extreme: lucky employees find themselves on probation, stalked by things called up by the gurus in HR. Unlucky employees are fed to the things from HR.
Through dint of destiny, luck, or forging a relative's will, you own a single share in the company. An utterly insignificant holding that gives you no monetary benefit or power. However, it will attract 'interest,' and not of the healthy sort.
Someone or something involved in the corporate pneumatic tube system has a grudge against you. Memos and items constantly go missing after being sent out and occasionally you get things that aren't even addressed to you. These are normally very bad things.
(OC: This won't affect your ability to use the email system)
Gotta get that next fix. If you’re not careful, you might find yourself going to get coffee - or a game of roulette, or a moderately-priced escort - when you had other things to do. But sometimes, you've gotta take care of yourself… right?