[[ethics]]

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ethics [2012/03/26 08:29]
gm_fabio
ethics [2012/04/03 10:54] (current)
gm_fabio
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=====Ethics and Conduct in the Workplace===== =====Ethics and Conduct in the Workplace=====
-In the dark days after the initial publication of the Five Habits of Highly Effective people the Mega-corporations used ruthless tactics to rise to power and were widely accused of being amoral and anti-human. To combat this perception and to cut-down on the need to constantly refill posts vacated by agressive trading and corporate headhunting the mega-corporations introduced a strict code of conduct for their employees to ensure a healthy, happy and survivable work environment. +In the dark days after the initial publication of the //Five Habits of Highly Effective People//, the megacorporations used ruthless tactics to rise to power and were widely accused of being amoral and anti-human. To combat this perception and to cut-down on the need to constantly refill posts vacated by aggressive trading and corporate headhunting, the megacorporations introduced a strict code of conduct for their employees to ensure a healthy, happy and survivable work environment.
While there are many regulation governing employee conduct and behaviour ((as of the latest meeting of the Ethics Committee, there were 18 804 such regulations, available in 13 easy to read volumes at the low low cost of $412.99)) the most important are: While there are many regulation governing employee conduct and behaviour ((as of the latest meeting of the Ethics Committee, there were 18 804 such regulations, available in 13 easy to read volumes at the low low cost of $412.99)) the most important are:
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  * Company resources are to be used only for Company orientated objectives. Any employee discovered to be using resources for personal ends will be reported to the Director of Human Resources.((Section 316-b, Subsection 6, Paragraphs 9 through 994 548 list what are considered "company resources". These include, but are not limited to: Employee time, employee ideas, employee stray thoughts, air currently on company premises and sunlight falling on company property.))   * Company resources are to be used only for Company orientated objectives. Any employee discovered to be using resources for personal ends will be reported to the Director of Human Resources.((Section 316-b, Subsection 6, Paragraphs 9 through 994 548 list what are considered "company resources". These include, but are not limited to: Employee time, employee ideas, employee stray thoughts, air currently on company premises and sunlight falling on company property.))
  * Access to the Executive Bathroom on the 13th floor is strictly for authorized personnel only.   * Access to the Executive Bathroom on the 13th floor is strictly for authorized personnel only.
-  * The company rejects the existence of any and all clandestine multi-lateral organisations that oppose the Company's management strategy and that subscribe to a philosophy of agressive anti-globalist anti-capitalism. Any and All mentions of such fictitious bodies are banned from company literature, internal memos, and watercooler conversation.+  * The company rejects the existence of any and all clandestine multi-lateral organisations that oppose the Company's management strategy and that subscribe to a philosophy of aggressive anti-globalist anti-capitalism. Any and All mentions of such fictitious bodies are banned from company literature, internal memos, and watercooler conversation.
  * Any employee found to be a member of a non-existent anti-corporate terrorist organisation will be subject to severe disciplinary proceedings.   * Any employee found to be a member of a non-existent anti-corporate terrorist organisation will be subject to severe disciplinary proceedings.
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Security are trained in rapid response procedures such as CPR, decontamination, fire fighting and 17 forms of unarmed combat. They will be able to provide you with all the assistance you require in the event of an emergency. Security are trained in rapid response procedures such as CPR, decontamination, fire fighting and 17 forms of unarmed combat. They will be able to provide you with all the assistance you require in the event of an emergency.
-Remember: A healthy employee is a happy employee. +Remember: A healthy employee is a happy employee who is in turn a profitable employee.
===== Life at the Company ===== ===== Life at the Company =====
ethics.1332750584.txt.gz · Last modified: 2012/03/26 08:29 by gm_fabio
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