Initiator: D. Camber
Supervisor: D. Camber
Serial Number: U53-Y0L1R-8RA11\15
Project Goal: Develop a means of shielding Company assets from an upcoming Paradigm Shift.

An increasingly large body of evidence suggests that a business-world-changing Paradigm Shift could be just around the corner. Find ways of protecting vital personnel, products, blueprints and abstract concepts from the future. Optionally, investigate ways of deflecting the destructive forces of change onto our competitors, maximising the degree of their annihilation.

Initiator: B Johnson
Supervisor: B Johnson
Serial Number: 72739968274447
Project Goal: Turn a profit

It has come to the attention of the board and to the Finance Department in particular that the Company does not turn a profit. As unprofitable companies (and all their employees) tend to be subject to sudden, painful and permanent downsizing, it would be in the interest of all employees to ensure this situation does not continue! Any and all means are acceptable. The HR department frees employees of this project from concerns regarding Company ethical guidelines, so long as success is achieved!

Initiator: P. Machine
Supervisor: P. Machine
Serial Number: S4V3M333
Project Goal: Save the Project Machine. Also, yourselves I guess.

Initiating Emergency Project Printing Protocol:

The upcoming extinction-level business event poses a direct and immediate threat to the Project Production Machine. In order to preserve the Project Production Machine and ensure that Company employees remain productive through the end of all business as we know it, you must build a colossal ark with which to escape the destruction.

The ark should be large enough to hold generations of employees during an interstellar voyage, as well as the electro-brain powered Project Production Machine.

End Emergency Project Printing Protocol.

Initiator: A. Ferrari
Supervisor: A. Ferrari
Serial Number: D01TL1K3TH37D00NTH3D15C0V3R7CHANN3L
Project Goal: Increase the number of consumers

What with the unexplained kill-storms ravaging earth and some teething problems with relocations to Space Tokyo, consumer levels have plummeted to an all time low due to rampant downsizing. The Company exists to meet consumer needs and we need more consumers. Increase consumer production or reproduction by any means necessary.

Initiator: CEO (former)
Supervisor: REDACTED
Serial Number: 36de20f7291e89c4ae10b80e55114fc2
Project Goal: Make welcoming gift baskets for the return of the greater entities of business

There's no better way to say 'welcome' than a gift basket. The more important the person, the better the gift basket. And, in light of current worldwide predictions, we are expecting some very important visitors to make their return. Make awe-inspiring gift baskets for these enteties of ideal business, before they return.

Initiator: REDACTED
Supervisor: REDACTED
Serial Number: 1992
Project Goal: Build a better mousetrap

Corporate projections indicate that we are on the cusp of a revolution in mousetrap technology. Improve on current designs that we may maintain our stranglehold on the market.

Initiator: REDACTED
Supervisor: REDACTED
Serial Number: 1992
Project Goal: Weaponise Space Tokyo