Initiator: REDACTED
Supervisor: Jake Bloom
Serial Number: 7394c62a5e3c8d79cf634d44b58c1aaa
Project Goal: Find Atlantis and make profitable discoveries.
A company adventure capitalist experimenting in deep-sea financial opportunities claims she has discovered the lost city of Atlantis on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, and that it is populated by aquatic business folk of a kind heretofore unknown. These represent new and untapped markets, and Atlantis should be found and monetised immediately.
(The original adventure capitalist has since disappeared; the last anyone knows, she was making a return trip to Atlantis.)
Initiator: Jake Bloom
Supervisor: Prof Doc Doc
Serial Number: D3
Project Goal: Make the Moon profitable
Since we own the moon, the ignition of its colossal oil deposits represents a serious threat to our marketable capital. For this reason, we must begin to leverage the commercial potential of the new moonlight to offset the losses from all that burning oil. Also, you are advised to downplay the serious harmful effects of lunar radiation.
Initiator: REDACTED
Supervisor: Dr. Universe Smith
Serial Number: fea9e110bedf4f13d3bcdba33ea7bbd3
Project Goal: Identify employees with the recently-discovered “Evil Gene”.
Top Geneticists™ have finally sequenced the genes for amorality, and are alarmed by findings of its prevalence among the test group of Company employees. Find a way to cheaply and effectively screen employees!
Initiator: Manitoba Saskatchewan
Supervisor: Lord Bernard Hiss
Serial Number: 0fba2a17104df84bd58a9b184d9b70df
Project Goal: Stem the tide of nocturnal maulings.
It's a fact of life at the company that, at any given time, there are any number of ways one could end up becoming horribly mauled. Recent mauling rate statistics exceed those permissible under Company health & safety regulations. Grab your pitchforks and find out what's stalking the night.
Initiator: REDACTED
Supervisor: REDACTED
Serial Number: 5c842c2624fab1445154131e5c44e8b6
Project Goal: Sweet-talk the lawmakers in DC.
Following the unsuccessful Project Soup last quarter, lawmakers in DC are arranging to claim back taxes from the company worth an uncountable sum of money since our tax shell has been revealed to be wafer-thin and illegal in eight hundred and thirty-three different ways. This is unthinkable, and we need our best silver tongues on the ground to avoid this disaster. Persuade the corporate courts to leave us alone!
(P.S. Try not to kill any of them. These are important people, and reprisals could be unpleasant.)
Initiator: REDACTED
Supervisor: REDACTED
Serial Number: e2e651dec4d29ef7bb816269cfba4f27
Project Goal: Ensure office reshuffle runs and runs smoothly
To ensure that all spaces are made cost-effective, building 1 is scheduled for an office reshuffle - three offices to the left, to be precise. The company wants you to make this reshuffle as efficient as possible, encouraging the more stubborn employees to move, and cleaning up any mess left behind.
Initiator: Dominque D'Vere
Supervisor: REDACTED
Serial Number: 476dbb4935fb04488e555770734b8203
Project Goal: Reengineer and reimagine Dangeria as the new place to be.
Attendance at the corporate training, conference reeducation facility in Dangeria is down. In addition to a reduced number of trained personnel, our contracts stipulate certain minimum usage levels. Our survey says that this is down to a negative view on Dangeria experiences due to the perception of low completion rates by training candidates.
Fix this.
Remember that an element of true danger is required to prepare people for the real dog-eat-dog corporate environment.
The ability to dispose of corporate undesirable via reeducation facilities is also a plus.
Initiator: REDACTED
Supervisor: REDACTED
Serial Number: 476dbb4935fb04488e555770734b8203
Project Goal: Build an electronic brain
The Company's recent pioneering innovations in the field of brain surgery have led us to conclude that the human brain is not well-suited to the tedious and repetitive tasks which most employees perform on a daily basis. We need a fully automatic self-aware and self-improving electrobrain to take over those tasks for which it would be more efficient than flesh and blood employees.
Initiator: REDACTED
Supervisor: REDACTED
Serial Number: 3ce7e06c8db82e4e553a9f2329bc65d8
Project Goal: Eliminate fees on our currency trading
Everyday billions of dollars are traded around the world between Corporate subsidiaries, requiring transfer between different currencies.
Everyday billions of dollars are subject to taxation by Integrated Finance in the form of fees and more exotic trades.
Eliminate this arbitrage and protect our assets.