===== Project Flaming Parachute===== **Initiator:** A. Johnson \\ **Supervisor:** A. Johnson \\ **Serial Number:** <9069405-35-68796793>\\ **Project Goal:** Create a new foreign market department\\ === Project Description === The Company's penetration of the post vital markets is disappointingly limited. We need an advertising campaign to target those who were made redundant with negative performance reviews, and products suitable for arid working conditions. As a long term business goal we will be looking to establish a permanent Department to service the needs of Metaphysically Foreign Markets so construction of foreign bureaus will also be a priority. =====Project Renaissance===== **Initiator:** CEO \\ **Supervisor:** CEO \\ **Serial Number:** 0\\ **Project Goal:** Rebuild the Company Productivity-Maximising Campus\\ === Project Description === The Company Productivity-Maximising Campus, that until so recently was a hallmark of corporate innovention and a shining beacon of management centralisation, has been destroyed. Rebuild it. Now. Also, make it fireproof. =====Project Do the Time-Warp Again===== **Initiator:** Greg Lucas jnr III \\ **Supervisor:** Greg Lucas jnr III \\ **Serial Number:** 35215nkjklh124124\\ **Project Goal:** Gather Information about the Corporations of the Dinosaurs\\ === Project Description === Recently the Company has acquired business intelligence that indicates that in the distant past Dinosaur Inc. dominated the primitive markets of the globe. We need to know more about the products, practices and profits of this extinct econo-system. Whether it's by digging up the bones of the economic giants of the past or their titantic cubicles, ripping apart the fabric of space-time to involuntarily recuit a junior saurian executive, or simply cloning employee-raptors find out all you can about this historic corporate epoch. =====Project Panic Room===== **Initiator:** Lord Bernard Hiss \\ **Supervisor:** Lord Bernard Hiss \\ **Serial Number:** 21476921123\\ **Project Goal:** Protect Lord Bernard Hiss from Fast-Track to Success Program Graduates\\ === Project Description === Oh god, they're going to kill me too. I have no idea what to do. I need somewhere to hide, like an underground vault or something where I'll be safe. Dictated but not read. Lord Bernard Hiss =====Project Blue-Skies Thinking===== **Initiator:** REDACTED \\ **Supervisor:** REDACTED \\ **Serial Number:** ;;;;;;;;;;;!;\\ **Project Goal:** Clean up all that lunar smog. \\ === Project Description === The Company's lunar assets have proved to be incredibly profitable. However, all that burning oil on the moon has resulted in a huge increase in low-orbit smog. Its reducing Tecommunication Satellite efficiency by upwards of 60%, giving all our corporate cosmonauts emphysema and lowering worldwide life expectancies by decades. Find a way to solve the problem and if possible turn our off-brownish skies blue once more to head-off a PR debacle. ===== Project Money Pit ===== **Initiator:** REDACTED \\ **Supervisor:** REDACTED \\ **Serial Number:** ;;;;;;;;;;;!;\\ **Project Goal:** Retrieve the Company's supply of cash assets. \\ === Project Description === Due to recent unplanned tectonic activity, the Company's entire supply of cash assets (previously kept at the Escondido open pit mine) have sunk to just above the Earth's core. While this is a ringing endorsement of the Company's Financial Firecladding (protect your money today!), it makes all of our cash rather hard to get to. Retrieve it post-haste. ===== Project Golden Dawn ===== **Initiator:** CEO \\ **Supervisor:** CEO \\ **Serial Number:** 22222222222222222\\ **Project Goal:** Make the new Fast Track to Success Program Graduates feel welcome \\ === Project Description === A new crop of Company Fast Track to Success Program Graduates, more ambitious and wide-shouldered than ever before, is about to enter the workforce and become productive members of the company. As previous Fast Track to Success Program Graduates, it is your job to welcome these up-and-coming employees to our corporate family, so that they may one day rise to the heights of the corporate ladder. We need an exciting new mentoring scheme to set them on the path to Success!